Amoris Laetitia: It’s already been 10 years since Pope Francis issued this apostolic exhortation on “the joy of love”! What if our relationship were to draw inspiration from it?1
On the occasion of this 10th anniversary, Pope Leo XIV, in a message addressed to families and pastors, described this exhortation as “a luminous message of hope concerning conjugal and family love,” “a precious teaching that we must continue to explore today.” This exhortation, he says, is “an invitation to Christian families, encouraging them to cherish the gifts of marriage and family, and to maintain a love that is strong and nourished by values.” In this spirit, we can read together as a couple the beautiful commentary on the hymn to charity for the growth of love in Chapter 4.
This chapter of Amoris Laetitia (AL) conveys a familiarity that is as respectful and affectionate toward the Word of God as it is toward the couple. Pope Francis tells us: “Stop, listen; this is what I myself have heard.”
The couple is first invited to savor the beauty of conjugal love, which St. Thomas considers “the greatest of friendships” because it offers intimacy, tenderness, security, and mutual recognition. We are also invited to allow ourselves to be moved so as to avoid the pitfalls of excessive idealization. Christian marriage is the place where love unfolds and endures “in spite of everything,” between people who all have “their limitations.” At CANA, we readily say that we are “one poor person before another poor person.”
We are gradually discovering that the power to renew love belongs to the Holy Spirit, whom we must invoke without ceasing, especially during this season of Pentecost! Anything that might destroy love ultimately pales in comparison to the supernatural strength that grace instills in us day by day.
It is true that, because we seek to love, there will be days when we must struggle. But knowing this, we are better prepared to welcome the unexpected and to discern how we can do the good we desire. But must we always struggle? Is love merely a battle? The Pope patiently guides us toward a different understanding of “love in spite of everything.” The key to this is joy, for joy precedes love on the path to perfection.
If we forget this, we fall into the illusion that there are “perfect families” who have become so through their own efforts. Along with John Paul II, Francis affirms, on the contrary, that the perfection of married people consists in joyfully welcoming a perfection “that springs from charity,” for it is a gift from God. Certainly, the struggle does not disappear. But it is grounded in the promise of marriage, that “openness to the definitive” placed in God’s hands, which helps us discover that the joy of loving finds diverse expressions over time.
When the other person is going through difficulties that make them less likable, faithfulness remains a source of joy.
As is his custom, the Pope begins with the Word of God. Here, it is the hymn to charity often read at weddings. Pope Francis shows that the verbs chosen in this passage from Saint Paul to guide Christian behavior echo the verbs through which the Old Testament expresses God’s merciful attitude toward humanity.
By citing examples drawn from family life, a path of faith emerges: we are all called to embody God’s love in concrete actions.
Let us remain humble, for human balance is fragile, and the essential thing is to learn to love within our own limits, knowing that the other person also has theirs.
Each of our couples is called to cultivate joy, good habits, and gestures that welcome the other and help them grow, and even to speak the “loving language of Jesus.”
The verb “to cultivate” appears very frequently in Chapter 4, as does the word “growth.” By inviting us to cultivate simple and authentic attitudes, the Pope follows in the footsteps of Saint Paul, who taught that while some plant and others water, it is God who grants the growth (1 Cor 3:6).
Chapter 4 concludes on a hopeful note: today’s longer life expectancy offers spouses the opportunity to continually relearn how to choose one another. For God never ceases to act: he accompanies spouses on their “journey of growth and personal transformation.”
1 Introduction to Chapter 4 of Amoris Laetitia based on the presentation by Philippe BORDEYNE and Marie-Dominique TREBUCHET in the annotated edition by Fidélité-Lessius
Here is Chapter 4 of Amoris Laetitia: