Unbelievable! Unforgettable! Indescribable?
Natalie and Markus from Berlin spent ten months at the “CANA House” in Les Pothières in the South of France, near Lyon, working with the CANA International team of the Chemin Neuf Community. They were able to interrupt their work in Berlin for a year to live together with brothers and sisters from ten different nations.
At the end of their sabbatical, they were able to participate in the “30 Days” adventure, which the Chemin Neuf Community regularly offers at the Bethanien Monastery in Switzerland. Here they share their experiences.
30 days of silence? No cell phone, no newspaper, reading nothing but the Bible? And all this as a couple, in separate rooms?
Unbelievable!
Bethanien Monastery is a Christian guesthouse with the charm of a wood-paneled bungalow from the 1970s, nestled amidst lush green alpine meadows and farms at an altitude of approximately 800 meters. Views of the Alps, views of Lake Sarnen, views of the April and May sky with gigantic cloud formations and the red kites flying in circles and figure eights, which we recognized personally after 30 days. Cowbells to wake us up, cowbells in the evening, the scent of herbs and freshly mown meadows, which reminded me of the past, of our family vacations in the mountains. My father was a fan of the mountains—he would have loved it here. Yes, during this time, we also thought of our parents, even those who are no longer with us, and wrote letters, spoke to them in prayer, and reconciled.
We entered ever deeper into conversations that were prayers, and the sophisticated dramaturgy invented by Ignatius 500 years ago led us to the essence of ourselves. We descended the steps, steps of our soul, as quietly and gently as the steep paths down into the Ranft, where Niklaus von Flüe the hermit lived and experienced and performed miraculous things.
Because God is in all things. Because humankind is created to praise God. Because life is this gift that we may and—yes, should—take into our own hands, to live it and spend it as it was intended by Him, our incredibly gentle, generous, and courageous Creator.
This place enchanted us; the silence opened us to our inner world; the long time without a cell phone made us feel better. The brothers and sisters in service (and there were many in service) acted like angels, singing, preaching, advising, hoping and praying, working and holding back so that we could savor this relationship: the creature with its Creator.
Unforgettable!
But now, let’s be specific:
30 days in separate rooms?
Fortunately, we had already tried it as a couple, had already experienced the “normal” one-week retreat – together and yet each on our own – in this place. It works! You see your partner, and sometimes you don’t, because the group consists of almost 50 people, all on their own paths. You sit at the same table with your spouse, you meet each other in the stairwell – connected in silence, and also connected in letting go of each other for this time.
And anyway: what do you do all day long?
The group gathers three times a day for prayer: for morning worship and the service in the church, and in the evening for a prayer group with praise and free prayer. In the mornings and afternoons, there are inspiring talks, and once a day, there is a conversation with an accompaniment.
But the heart of the group are the four daily prayer times, which are spent alone with Jesus. This is the heart of the retreat. This is the moment to open oneself to God. This is where the Lord reveals himself to each and every one of us. What happens here is often life-changing.
The majority of participants are between 25 and 35 years old. Some have just finished their studies and are wondering what comes next. Others are faced with the decision to marry. Is he the right man? Do I want to spend my life with this woman? Quite a few are also considering a calling as a priest or consecrated sister. After two weeks, a certain tension is palpable in the house… What is God’s will for my life?
For us, as a couple who have just celebrated their silver wedding anniversary, this question also arises, but in a different way. First, the topic of conversion arises: Where in our lives as a couple, as a family, have we perhaps taken a wrong turn? Where is reconciliation needed? As always during the Chemin Neuf community’s retreat weeks, there is a reconciliation evening in the middle of the 30 days, with opportunities for confession, conversation, and letter writing. After that, we focus on the so-called reform de vie, a renewal of life. Which areas of my life need reform, that is, renewal, change? Ignatius invites us to become very concrete and to make decisions – these affect our inner life, our attitude toward life, our relationships, our commitments, and our work. Several fully written books, letters, and even drawings and paintings bear witness to this inner work.
Indescribable
The last third of the retreat is dedicated to contemplating the life of Jesus. It is the most beautiful part of our time in the monastery. A never-before-seen closeness, even intimacy in prayer with Jesus, develops. It is enchanting. We delve deeply into the mystery of our Lord’s Incarnation. Into His healing work in the world. Into His Passion. His Resurrection. There is also time and space to ask questions we have never answered before: What exactly does it mean to me that Jesus died for my sins? How exactly do I imagine eternal life?
On the last night before my departure, I had a dream: I was walking across the forecourt of Bethanien Monastery, balancing a huge tower of beautifully wrapped gifts in my arms. There were so many that some fell down, and I struggled to pick them up again. Truly, Lord, you have blessed us beyond measure. With insights, comfort, new beginnings, reconciliations, healings, deep joy, and Spirit-filled peace. But the greatest gift is the new, surprisingly closeness to you that will remain. We will take it with us to Berlin, into our everyday lives of work, family, and community. There, the saying will prove true: Nothing has changed—and everything has.